I have been feeling achingly lonely recently. I love my kids, but I need face-to-face interaction with adults who know me. I want to be with family.
I want to be able to talk about real things with people who won’t tell me that I can’t feel the way I feel because THEY have feelings in the opposite direction, and that by expressing my feelings THEY feel badly that they’re not doing whatever it is they need/want to do--which has nothing to do with what I’m talking about in that moment.
I want to be with people who have known me my whole life and understand all the shitty baggage I carry daily, and that I have a fragile heart.
I want to be able to talk about TV shows and movies I like and books I’ve read and have them care regardless of whether they’ve seen them or not.
I want someone who will HELP me with my burdens. Someone who will see me doing the dishes and come to the kitchen to wipe down counters or mop the floor so the chores are done sooner.
I want someone to bake with, cook with and eat too much food with. I want someone who will hold my children with care and love and tenderness.
I want to be able to go on walks in the evening. I want people who will play with my kids while I take a walk alone.
I want to feel safe. I want to feel seen.
I want to be able to be alone and not lonely.
