sometimes handy husbands aren't

cowboy charming worked construction for about 12 years before he got a job with insurance. a job he hates and still has (which is another story). his specialty was carpentry and roofing, but he also knows some electrical and plumbing.

so when the sink started draining slowly a while back i figured no biggie, put some drain cleaner down, don't wash as many dishes, be aware of the "rising tide" from running the dishwasher, etc.

but then one day the sink overflowed from the dishwasher rising tide. which set cowboy charming on a frenzy. drain cleaners, snakes, opening the cleanout in the basement, etc.

we have gone through a gallon of muriatic acid and a gallon of sulfuric acid. yay horrible toxic chemical odors in the house!

since the drain is still running slow, he is convinced that there is a blockage in the portion of the drainpipe that is in the concrete of our basement floor.  something equivalent to a small rodent stuffed in there or a collapsed pipe that a tree root has gone through.  he continues to feed cleaner in the basement cleanout and attempt to fix the problem that way, but i have a feeling that the basement floor will soon be jackhammered up.

in the meantime he is still cooking and using regular dishes, which are piled up in the kitchen like an episode of hoarders.

i have bought disposable cups, plates, bowls & utensils.

soon i'll be washing dishes in my bathtub. i just know it.

oh, and did i mention my sister wants to come visit for a weekend at the end of june? yeah, that works out great.

quiet long weekend

took a day trip in advance of the holiday weekend with cowboy charming and the wee girl. had a good time. i don't think we argued once.  most of the rest of the weekend went the same way. i'm not sure if this means something or not. maybe we were just both relaxed for once.

cowboy charming had to work today. i took the wee girl for an outing and we had a pretty good time.

the kitchen sink is not draining. hasn't for a while, but now it's completely blocked it seems. cowboy charming has been pouring things down the drain and checking the cleanout for a while.

i'm getting tired of not being able to run the dishwasher or use the kitchen. and yet the dishes keep piling up because cowboy charming keeps cooking things.

i guess i'll be buying some paper plates & such to keep the mountain of mess at a minimum.

i don't really like you anymore

what do you do when you kind of feel like you don't really like your spouse anymore? like, you know that you were good with them when you got together but over the years you feel like somehow they've turned into somebody different, when really it's probably you changing more?

i don't know if i LIKE cowboy charming much anymore. or maybe it's just right now. with all the unrest in the country i feel like i'm seeing a side of him that i've never seen, and it's a judgemental, close-minded, knee-jerky-conservative, pretty much racist side of him. and i don't know how to talk to him when he starts. because if i try to have a logical reasoned discussion he gets mad that i don't agree with him 100% and then it turns into a fight and, you know, fights suck.

and in the midst of all this "i'm not sure if i really like you anymore" feelings, i am also wondering if i even love him anymore. and then i'm second-guessing if i ever loved him or if it was just me loving the idea of not being alone. and then i think about the ramifications of leaving him and they boggle my mind since they don't involve just me. they also involve the wee girl. and he is the daddy that she loves more than the moon. but there are times that i know he terrifies her. and times that he terrifies me. his anger terrifies and baffles me.

but maybe that's because i never really saw anger growing up. maybe my family was amazingly sedate when it came to feelings of anger. maybe what i'm seeing is normal but i don't know it's normal because i don't come from a normal family of origin.

but then what if it's not.

i'm paralyzed with uncertainty.

i think we both need therapy separately and together.

robots and sleep

i have noticed that when i get up in the morning, the first time i check twitter that there are a LOT of updates that happen overnight. like, a ridiculous amount of things.  it's very odd to see the 24 hour news/social media cycle in action, since people are tweeting from all around the world in all time zones.

for the accounts that i follow that appear to be people, some still seem to tweet a ridiculous number of times a day and throughout the night. i have decided that those people must be:

1. tweet bots
2. insomniacs with no job or true social life
3. people with a staff who manage their twitter presence
4. people who are more twitter savvy than me and able to schedule things to "auto-tweet" at set intervals in the future.

i don't have much commentary about tweet bots, but it seems very weird to me for someone to create a program to post things as if it were a person. creeps me out.

i shan't judge the insomniacs, because i am one. but i also try not to get online in the middle of the night since it only makes the insomnia worse. i attempt to keep good "sleep hygiene" in order to be able to function every day. at my job. and so i'll judge on the second bit: no job. get a job people. unless tweeting is your job, and that's kind of weird.

if you do have a job, but you're tweeting because twitter is a substitute for friends, be careful. you could lose your job. i also recommend getting involved in volunteering or a community organization that gets you in touch with people. if you have some sort of mental problem that impairs you from interacting with people: please get counseling.

in regard to number three, something popped up in my feed about Joss Whedon leaving twitter, and lots of speculation about the "why" behind it, including that he didn't like some of the negative response to his latest movie (which i have not yet seen, and honestly thought was already out on DVD because i'm *that* disconnected from most popular culture). one of the articles explains that this is the second time he has "quit" twitter and actually quoted him as stating that he joined twitter back in 2013 to drive traffic to his production of Much Ado About Nothing and he compares twitter to a job that doesn't pay very well.

so he may have left because he didn't like fan feedback, or he could have left because he has other things to do and keeping up a twitter presence isn't high on his priority list (because i'm sure he's one of those people who is actually busy and would have to hire staff to manage his twitter presence, which also strikes me as a weird thing to hire someone for).

and if you can preset tweets, someone let me know, because that could be seriously useful in some ways.

anyhow, enough about twitter and people i don't know. for now. it's time for me to focus on my day job.